amandaekim's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] amandaekim i cleaned up after myself. i tied up my loose ends. info friends myspace [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

as if things couldn't get any worse [Monday August 3rd, 2009 12:30pm ]  The last 72 hours of my life feels like the hardest 72 hours  I've had in a very long time.   the drive to Sherwood alone felt like forever. I've never had such bad anxiety in my life I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest my legs where going to collapse and i would fall to the floor   the phone call i received at work felt never ending like the person on the other line wouldn't go away   I knew it was coming I just wasn't sure when. I know she is in a better place now  but it still hurts There are so many things i wanted to say to her that for some reason or another i just didn't I loved her so very much Grandma pat i know you are in a better place now  and im sorry for everything i said.   read (1) write

[Wednesday June 10th, 2009 2:10pm ] In the last month I’ve really come to see a lot of things. My life has been very strange and I’m not really sure how to handle it all. its a bit too much but I mean I have good people in my life right now and I am very thankful for that. Jessica thank you so much for talking to me today. I know that we are not on the of terms but it really means a lot to me. I wasn’t sure who else to call. but thank you for everything you had to say to me. It means the world to me more then you will ever know. I really want to make things right with people I have loss touch with over the last few months. I don't like having people mad at me or whatever. I’ve been friends with most of them for sometime now and I don’t think a friendship should just be thrown away like that on all of our parts. I guess you could say I’ve done a lot of evaluating of my life.   But I’m glad I have. I have learned a lot from this little life quest or whatever you want to call it.   Things will look up soon and I know that. I have people in my life that care about me and that I care about so Very much and it feels amazing. write

[Thursday March 26th, 2009 10:25am ]  Im not even sure how to start this. this last week has been hell. Jessica left to go back to puyallup on tuesday.  Blake and jon came down to visit saturday. Blake and Jacob played a show monday. Lizz was wasted out of her mind. I drove to yakima thinking that being with scott would make me feel better, but.. I dont know i mean i knew i would be hanging out by myself while he was at work but what i didnt think was that he was planning on going out with his friends he see everyday and  leaving me here to hang out by myself. I mean i understand he is 23 he likes to go out and what not but i drove all the way here by myself to see him and i feel like the most time we have spent together was right before we went to sleep. I dont know call me a silly girl or what have you but i just feel like this trip was a waste of my time and money. Lizz and i are in the mits of looking for a new place and have come up with a great plan that im super excited for. Everything is working out with that pretty well. I started my new job as a barista last week and i LOVE it. I have two job interviews next week and i hope i can get one of them and work two jobs until lizz and i are back up on our feet She just got two jobs last week and so far so good. Things can only get better.   read (1) write

[Tuesday February 17th, 2009 8:34pm ] things are really starting to look up and i love it. im out of that awful house full of dumb people and into a better place im with the two girls i love more than life its self and its wonderful the last three weeks have been really rough but AMAZING I have good people in my life now people that i know would never fuck me over and i rid myself of all the bad ones that were never even really my friends. everything is getting better everyday and i cant wait for whatever is next. thank you life for being awsome write

[Thursday February 12th, 2009 8:54pm ] FUCK ALL OF YOU STUPID FUCKS! Im sick of you people trying your hardest to bring me down. Im better then that and i know it. So FUCK OFF and DIE. I could really care less about you and your oh so shitty lives. All you people do is try and get as many people you can to listen how awful your life is. SUCK A FAT DICK!  IM HAPPY WITH THINGS IN MY LIFE SO LET ME BE PLEASE! love Amanda E Kim. oh and ps. CORY THIS IS PRETTY MUCH ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS  PERSON THAT FEEDS OFF EVERYONE ELSE. GET YOUR OWN LIFE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO LIVE EVERYONE ELSES LIVES! write

[Sunday January 11th, 2009 10:27pm ]  SHITS FUCKED. write

[Wednesday December 10th, 2008 9:58pm ]  i miss alot of people that used to be in my life. there is one person that i wish would just come back around. i miss him so much he is the only person in my life that doesnt judge me and sees me for me. come back i miss you so much. the one person that i could call in the middle of the night crying my eyes out and even though he had to be at work in a few hours and needed his sleep he would talk me  the one person that when my grandma died i felt like he was really there for me no matter when "i value you more than you will ever know" write

[Friday November 14th, 2008 7:18pm ]  Things in the house have gotten much better since amber left everyone seems to really be getting along which is nice because at one point we were all ready to kill each other. I applied to PNCA today I'm working on my portfolio over the next week or two and i guess we will just see. Things with me I... well i just feel like i"m stuck like I'm not really going anywhere or doing anything. After hearing what my grandmother had to say about my life I'm really well i guess i don't really now how to take all of that. I'm missing my grandma marry so much. I have found myself thinking about her alot  the last week or so and i just miss her so much She was the one person in my like that  was there for me no matter what and thought every idea i ever had for anything was great and would be right there beside me. She was one of the most AMAZING people in my life and i just miss her more than anything write

[Friday October 10th, 2008 9:54pm ]  so tomorrow is my grandmas funeral is tomorrow and im having really bad anxiety it was really hard when she first passed and i kinda just put it aside and didnt want to deal with it but tomorrow makes it real and i know i have to deal with it. i have a pretty ok support system here but i would much rather be at home with my family. there are a few people in my like that i wish were here for me more then they are but what can you do... i really hope tomorrow isnt as hard as i think its going to be. write

[Sunday September 28th, 2008 10:20am ]  so im really sick and this sucks. i need a nice long vacation to costa rica write

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